


Your perfect imperfections

by Hyunjjins



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Chan is a good mother, Chan is tired, Changbin is completely oblivious, Changbin is sorta an asshole, Fluff, Help Jeongin, Hwang Hyunjin is Whipped, Hwang Hyunjin-centric, Hyunjin is clingy, Hyunlix, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I hope you find my tags amusing bc idk what to do with them lmao, I love my baby but its for the sake of ANgSt, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Insomnia, M/M, Panic Attacks, References to Depression, This is manly fluff, We don't have much Hyunlix, Woojin is trying his best, angst later on, my babies are so soft, so heres this lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2019-10-03 09:22:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 15,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17281385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyunjjins/pseuds/Hyunjjins
Summary: as Felix and Hyunjin grow unexpectedly closer after an incident at a fan-sign Hyunjin begins to learn things about Felix he never knew... much to the dismay of one other person.(I am: terrible at summaries, read the tags for a better description  ;-;)UPDATES WHENEVER POSSIBLE, but no set schedule <3





	1. Shiver

**Author's Note:**

> So this is totally self-indulgent, I absolutely adore Hyunlix, I think it is a very pure and soft ship.  
> I want to TRY to stay close to what I imagine the whole of Stray Kids is off-camera, I want to capture the exhaustion, and the realness of what it's like to be an idol, whether is accurate or not I don't exactly know... but I hope it seems that way instead just a shoddily written fic... eek.

Hyunjin shivered, the freezing air catching his exposed skin between his black ripped jeans, and black short sleeved t-shirt.  
All the others thought better of wearing something stylish, sticking to practicality with long fluffy coats, long sleeved jackets, and turtle necks, unlike himself they were warm and without a care headed towards the nearest fan-meeting.

Two of the mangers led the way, the van had dropped them off near the front, all they had to do was walk a block before they reached the event, and Hyunjin was suffering for it.  
He didn’t even know if the place had heating.

Hyunjin shivered at the thought, rubbing his exposed arms for warmth, eyes glued to his red converse as the plodded along after the others.

 

It took them a mere five minutes to reach the big building, out front big posters announcing the meeting, a few fans still chattering amongst one another, big smiles on their faces as they eagerly awaited to see their idols.  
He smiled, they looked so happy and cheerful, his ears barely catching a of their names as they carefully slipped past to go to the doors of the building where they would get ready before entering the meeting.

“Thanks for bringing us here, we know were to go from here.” He heard Chan at the front tell the two male mangers, who nodded in acknowledgement and simply pointed in the direction of the elevators “We will wait for you in the lobby.” They replied bowing before moving away to the front desk to notify their arrival.

“Alright guys this way.” Summoned Chan, waving them into the elevator like some kind of school guide he waited as one by one they fell into the small space and pressed the up button.  
It was fairly quiet for the most part, a few of the members spoke in low excited voices for the meeting, happy for see fans again after so long.

The hour later they were getting ready to head down, making being applied, hair being styled.  
Stylists and makeup artists stressed as the members constantly kept giggling and playing around, worried their hard work might be shattered.  
Jisung, Seungmin, and Jeongin lay peacefully in pile on the floor, already finished with their hair and makeup, simply waiting around for the others to finish as they watched a drama together, tangled in a heap.

Chan had fallen asleep on Woojin’s lap as he played on his phone, a hand rested in the leader’s not yet finished hair, fingers curling around the blonde locks, making mini curls at the end of his fingers.

Hyunjin sat on the edge of the couch, shivering still as he started out the window and onto the open space with the line-up of fans. Smiling, but also somewhat tired and wishing this meeting could be postponed to a day when he felt better and that was less damn cold.

“Hyunjinnie. Are you alright?” A voice drew him from his mopey thoughts.  
He turned and looked up to see Felix, freckles uncovered and for the world to see, hair messy and tumbled, slight eye bags prominent from all the hard work on late nights of dance practice.  
Hyunjin nodded and shuffled his legs to make room for the Australian, “You look tired.” Said Felix plopping down next to him casually.  
“A little, but I am still looking forwards to seeing our stays.”  
Felix gave a deep hum of approval, closing his eyes, eyelashes fanned over the sun kissed cheeks like small angel wings. “Agreed, I like it too, I find it adorable how they always tell us to take care of ourselves- we are truly blessed.”

Hyunjin let his head fall on the cushion as another deep shiver wracked his body, lips beginning to feel rather chapped.  
The Australian must have felt the violent shiver, and turned his head to stare them down “Hyunjin-ah… are you cold by any chance?”

The older paused, pursing his lips slightly “No…?”  
“I told you, you should have brought a coat!”  
“I didn’t wanna…”  
They huffed, and patted his leg, “Hey come here I’ll cuddle you.”

It didn’t need much encouraging to get Hyunjin to cuddle with anyone. Within seconds he was already sitting up to change sides to lean on them.  
He loved physical affection, and every form it took, Hyunjin would take it.

They slithered their arms around the young boy’s waist, and snuggling their head straight into their collarbone, cold nose breezing across Felix’s warm skin.  
“Bloody hell your hands are cold!” Felix yelped in surprise as Hyunjin accidentally let a fingertip drag over their skin, maybe a little to loud as a few people turned their heads, but quickly resumed work within a matter of seconds.  
“Sorry.” Hyunjin’s muffled reply was, too cold to really care as he weaselled his way around the boy’s torso, feeling comforted as Felix returned the gesture and pulled them to lay on top of his thin frame.

With a sigh Hyunjin relaxed into his new little human heat pack, careful not to squeeze the daylights out of them as he felt the stupid air con fan up his bare arms.  
“Seriously though, bring a jacket next time…”


	2. Sooth me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyunjin's anxiety comes randomly...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I really dislike how this came out, but I want to get to the good stuff sooner so!! Here this is, hope everyone enjoys it so far :((

It was backstage, the murmur of fans echoing through the walls filling the whole place with a buzz of excitement.   
Luckily for Hyunjin he had been offered a small cardigan that helped ease the chill and was now at least a little bit warmer and ready to meet some fans.  
The stylists gave their last-minute adjustments, mainly to Jeongin, who’s hair had been ruffled out of place by his hyungs playfully. 

Hyunjin found himself suddenly gravitating near the youngest Australian, comforted by their presence since they didn’t seem to reject his physical affection unlike the others. It was a strange switch that had been pulled- he was suddenly much more attentive in their movements, the way they talked, the way their eyes shifted over things.  
He was curious, despite being around Felix nearly 24/7 this was the first time he was paying his full attention to them.

While Chan gave them a few last-minute warnings about things they’re not allowed to talk about and reminding them to be courteous and gentle with fans, no making jokes that might offend someone. The words barely sinking in as Hyunjin rested his head on Felix’s shoulder, tired of hearing the same as he had many times before.

Felix had his arms crossed, nodding along to Chan’s words respectfully, ignoring the looks everyone else was giving him by allowing Hyunjin to cling to him like a lost puppy.  
Hyunjin pushed in closer, trying to rationalise his unsteady heartbeat, the gentle thrum of talking fans on the other side of the wall made him unrealistically nervous and jittery. Instead he kept hold of Felix’s soft fluffy jacket, trying to disappear into the softness for reassurance.

 

After the talk was over, they were ushered through the door and onto the stage, Hyunjin sticking close to the Australian like glue, who so far had not made a single complaint about the proximity.  
The fans cheered and waved, smiling up at their idols with overjoyed expressions.

He felt a little scared, seeing all those expectant fans, who probably wanted to see some hand-crafted gods descend from the heavens. Only to be saddened by the fact their idols where actually just normal humans, who did pretty much the same as them except were almost 24/7 exhausted and overworked.

Idols are not perfect, he was not perfect, Stray Kids were definitely not perfect. They really are just a bunch of boys trying to live their best lives and find free time to play video games. Cry into a pillow or curl up watching movies with one another eating instant noodles with ice-cream for desert. 

With another sudden spike of anxiety his fingers must have clenched too hard around Felix’s arm, because he felt their hand lay over his, thumbing over the white knuckles to ease him.  
They bent over discreetly as Chan led the introduction “Sit next to me. You don’t need to worry about a thing, okay?”  
Hyunjin nodded, trying to relax his muscles, instead of focusing on the crowd he focused on the and soft little fingers on Felix’s hands. Loving how tiny they looked overlaid on his own.  
It was quite blatant staring in fascination, Felix’s hand moved on repeat over his, he wondered if the fans had noticed, heaven knows how long he was there looking like a dumbstruck idiot.

“-thank you for coming today as always, I hope you have a good time, and find our presence enjoyable!” Chan finished his mini speech, bowing low with a huge smile. His sunshine expression lighting the room ablaze.

 

The group settled down at the long table, and as Felix had promised, Hyunjin was able to fight for a seat next to him, with Woojin on his side, and Seungmin on Felix’s.  
They sat noticeably closer than the rest, but it managed to slip under the radar since everyone was mainly focusing on Jeongin and Chan who were talking the most. 

As time passed at the meeting, and fans had gone passed, conversations had been held, Hyunjin felt himself fatigue, and tire. He was feeling more and more nervous with each person that passed his station, worried he might not look good enough, or might be scaring them, or even maybe he wasn’t living up to their standards.   
He loved fans, in fact he adored them, but today he felt like he had been beaten and hung out to dry over a metal rack. His body ached from the day prior filled with training, brain barely able to comprehend most words the fan’s gave him.   
Hyunjin wanted to curl in on himself.

The occasional shutter of a camera made him feel rather disorientated and unwell as he attempted to turn from them for relief, but another replaced the previous camera followed him and blinded him again.  
He began to feel his skin prickle with a familiar chill, as it seemed the air-con in the building had been cranked up, or perhaps his anxiety had caused him to start shivering it was hard to tell.  
“Lix…” he whimpered once a fan had left his station, resting his head in his arms, his stomach twisting unpleasantly.  
Felix looked up, he had a fair few toys and gifts hanging off him, a pair of cute round glasses accompanying his exposed freckles, which were now shown since a fan asked to see them- and he so generously wiped away the makeup that the stylists spent nearly half an hour perfecting.

It didn’t take much time for Felix to read him, and his facial expression to soften, turning to him slightly, slipping his hand onto Hyunjin’s thigh “Are you still cold Hyunjinnie?”

Hyunjin shook his head, hanging it low and hovering his head just above their shoulder, “I am really overwhelmed, I feel sick.” As if on que another wave of sickness churned in his upset stomach, head spinning.  
Felix nodded and wordlessly pulled Hyunjin’s chair closer, wrapping his arms around their shoulders, and placing his head strategically to give Hyunjin cover from the prying eyes trained on them “Aish… baby, it’s okay, I am here. We are all here.

 

The fans let out a shared squeal, cameras flashing like a firework show, the other members curiously peering at them, wondering what the occasion was, probably bushing it off as fan service.  
“Want me to tell them you feel sick and need to leave?” Felix whispered, their deep voice vibrating between the little space between them, allowing Hyunjin to blank the white noise of the crowd and cameras.

“No… yes? I don’t know… can you decide for me?” Hyunjin mumbled, squeezing them tighter for warmth and a feeling of safety.  
They hummed, nodding “Okay, I will tell them you feel unwell. Want me to stay with you backstage?”  
He felt worse with those words, he didn’t want Felix to leave him, and also, he knew how much Felix loved these events, and talking to fans, Hyunjin would hate to take that away.

The pause must have been to noticeable, because the Australian drew away “I will go with you anyway. Stay here I still need to ask Chan and the mangers- can you hold on for a few minutes while I am gone?”

Hyunjin felt his throat dry up, the thought of the boy leaving his side, and not being within an arm’s reach suddenly terrified him, so he gripped harder on their arm, looking up desperately, almost begging not to be left alone.

“I will take that as a no, come on.”

 

Felix stood up, being patient for Hyunjin to slowly stand, using him as an anchor the entire time.  
With each slow step, they made their way to the leader, who was already waiting expectantly, turning as soon as the pair arrived at the back of his chair, “What was that before?”

“Hyunjinnie feels sick… can I take him backstage?”  
Chan immediately stood up, broad shoulders blocking the eyes of the crowd, Hyunjin grateful for the provided shelter somewhat huddled under their shadow, still standing close to the younger Australian.  
The leader dragged his palm in circles along Hyunjin’s back, trying to provide some comfort for the increasing anxiety he was facing, brows furrowed like a worried father.

“What’s up?” he heard them ask kindly, leaning in.  
“I feel… really sick…” pointing to himself vividly.  
“Stomach?”  
He nodded, “Yeah. R-really cold too…”

Chan cooed, stroking his hair “Okay, okay. I will see what I can do- if things don’t go our way do you think you will be alright?”  
“I dunno…”  
“Alright go sit back down with Lix, I will be back.”  
Felix nodded, and watched Chan apologise to the crowd, claiming there was an emergency he needed to attend for a moment before disappearing behind the staff doors located at the side of the small stage.  
There was a breathless silence that followed as all eyes trained on the two that wobbled their way back to the seats they had left, a fan waiting at Felix’s station, her eyes shinning as both of them slowly sat back down. Hyunjin’s face crinkling in pain from the sharp movements must have caught the girl’s eyes because the first question that came from her mouth was “Are you okay? You look rather pale.”

Felix glanced at his suffering friend, and gave a little nod, “Hyunjin-hyung is okay, he just feels a little under the weather.” A smile only vaguely dancing across their worried face.  
The girl nodded “Oppa, please take care of yourself.” She said bowing politely as she could with the minimal room given, her long ashen hair falling from her shoulder her eyes rested lovingly on her idol with a sweet genuine concern twinkling in their green depths.  
Hyunjin nodded his thanks, smiling back despite the black spots appearing behind his eyes.

 

A few more minutes passed, the girl had moved along the table, now chatting to Jeongin at the end of the line cheerfully. Felix was trying his best to keep Hyunjin animated and talking, but difficulties where beginning to show. Fans were becoming a little frightened they might be upsetting their idol, and quieted once they reached his station. 

Hyunjin hated it, he was trying his best, but everything seemed to blur into one, the only thing grounding him was Felix’s small hand rested on his thigh, giving the occasional squeeze of comfort, distracting him from the growing headache and twist of unease in his stomach.

It felt like years till Chan reappeared, the joyful cry of the fans signalling his return.  
They didn’t linger however to acknowledge it, moving quickly to Hyunjin’s side, Felix wasting no time to follow as the leader wordlessly, springing from his seat skilfully, like they had been waiting. “We got the OK from the mangers, let’s get Jinnie backstage.” Chan whispered quickly into the other boy’s ear.  
The leader then began rather roughly began to lift the boy from his chair. Obviously anxious for them, just wanting them off stage and away from eyes.  
At this point Hyunjin felt like jelly, his legs stopped working, and was out of sync with the rest of his led laden body, all he could do was cling to both the Australian’s arms and be led away.   
A few steps after standing, to no surprise of his he nearly tumbled to the floor, feet dragging on the waxed stage. His head wildly spinning with nausea, vision filling with black spots.

Felix lifted a mic quickly to explain to the confused onlookers “Hyunjin-ah is feeling ill, we need to take him backstage. We are so, so sorry, please forgive us for this occurrence.”

The crowd cooed and murmured, the sound of disappointment filled Hyunjin’s ears before the staff door shut, and it was just him Chan, and Felix in the narrow-whitewashed hallway to the dressing rooms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be posted soon, sorry about the long wait for this one, aaaaa I need to try be a little more confident


	3. Strawberry hair, honey scent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyunjin is brought backstage where Felix witnesses their breakdown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone gets overwhelmed and stressed every now and then, and poor Hyunjin is just so exhausted.  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter <3  
> Next chapter is pure FLUFF.

Hyunjin sat hunched on the provided couch. He felt his entire body like nothing, like a gap of space in a cold environment.  
His stomach continued to pull unpleasantly like tidal waves, making him cringe with every movement. Trembles began to wrack his frame, even after provided blankets, everything to him was just freezing, his fingers numb, and nose cold.

The managers had assigned them a spare room for Hyunjin to rest, it was barren of all character, the only thing that gave a spark of colour to the room was the dying fern in the corner of the room, and Felix’s fiery hair. But alas it was quiet and excluded from the bustle of staff, so Hyunjin had no place to complain  
The two Aussies spoke in low tones, using their native language so Hyunjin could only pick up the occasional irrelevant word of the flowing conversation. Everything felt incredibly uncomfortable, the couch was cold, the blankets scratchy and course against the exposed skin of his arms and cheek. And there was a smell in the air of disinfectant that made his nose crinkle in displeasure.  
It reminded him of a hospital.

“Hyunjinnie…” Chan whispered, as he suddenly appeared beside the couch, crouching low to be at eye level with the younger boy. Hyunjin blinked in tired surprised, his mind was distracted by the white noise of disappointed slurs his mind was generating.  
“Are you okay?” 

He shook his head.  
“What’s wrong?”  
“Cold… tired… sick.” he responded, voice barely a whisper. 

Felix moved forwards to crouch next to Chan, rubbing a small hand against their chest, “We can try to get a heat pack?”  
Hyunjin let his eyes flutter shut at the feeling of the warm hands run across his chest in comforting circles, “Can… have a hug…” the mumbled incoherently, both the Aussies frowned at the babyish sentence.  
None the less, Felix got the gist, and bobbed his head, saying something quickly to Chan in English, the speech too quick for Hyunjin to even begin to decipher, the oldest gave a thumbs up and left the room, closing the door softly behind him.

 

The dancer opened his heavy eyelids again to focus on Felix’s faded strawberry red hair, exhaustion overtaking his entire body, making it feel useless and tingly, every inch of his being just like led, weighing him down. The only light being the red hair, contrasted by the crème background of the wallpaper behind it.  
He let himself tumble into their arms, laying across them like a wet blanket, Felix’s arms surrounding his lanky frame in the warmest gentlest and most genuine hug he had been searching for all day. Letting his worries wash off him in tears and sobs, every fear for perfection slowly being removed with each soft kiss Felix would press against the crown of his hair.  
Hyunjin felt himself melt under the brush of lips on his dark black messy hair, it was rare to get kisses, he lavished in them every time he did, however, his mood dampened by the overwhelming guilt and anxiety too much to allow him to beam a usual smile. 

“It’s okay,” Felix said, rubbing up and down his back comfortingly, shushing them as Hyunjin took in another shaky breath and released another body rattling sob, the sharp uneasy breathing making Felix worried.  
“You’re okay now, Hyunjinnie.”  
Time moved slowly for Hyunjin, it felt like hours of just easing himself back down then back into uncontrollable crying again, the emotions of guilt, sadness, and disappointment crashing over him randomly. The aching and utterly all-consuming feeling in his gut and soul sinking any positive thought.  
Felix remained an anchor, rubbing down his back with infinite patience, his words slowly lulling them further and further away from the edge of his black hole of emotions, to the point where the room had silence between each of their broken breaths.  
“Baby.” A nickname for Hyunjin rolled of his dongsaeng’s tongue, the oldest too exhausted to point out the disrespect “Can you look at me?”  
The older boy with time slowly removed himself, wiping his eyes, chest still heaving as he tried to contain his unsteadying breathing.  
His stomach sucking in with every hiccup and cough painfully. Felix’s small hands never leaving him, always there to tell him he was still with him.  
“Hey… Jinnie, look at me.” Hyunjin immobilized, scared to follow the Australian’s order, but did so anyway, temporarily stopping the tears. Hyunjin looked up, his doe eyes watery and puffy, cheeks flushed from rubbing them so much, lips pouted in a way that made Felix’s heartstrings pull painfully.  
He looked scared as his eyes flickered over Felix’s utterly sodden tear stained button-up shirt, but Felix led his eyes back up by grabbing their chin and pulling it towards him, not allowing them to linger on the ruined clothing. Clothing of which he held no care towards anyway.  
“I don’t exactly know what happened before, but you are okay now. Do you hear me? You did amazing, I am very proud that you could wait for Chan to get back, even when you felt unwell.”  
Hyunjin nodded meekly, eyes finally dipping to rest on his own relaxed hands, the deep voice soothing his jumbled thoughts, and sucked in a shaky breath. The words didn’t make him feel to much better, at least not yet, but acted as a band-aid for the time being for relapsing stresses. Which he appreciated to no end.

Felix let a fingertip drop over the end of his nose, tapping the cold skin twice “Are you still cold?”  
He shook his head, “O-only a little…” eyes beginning to focus more to see that the younger boy was giving him a sweet smile.

 

There was a knock at the door, causing both of them to turn simultaneously.  
“Hang on Chan-hyung!” Felix called, turning back to the other boy, who was desperately trying to collect himself.  
Felix paused, letting Hyunjin wipe his eyes quickly, giving his hyung’s hand one last squeeze before Hyunjin made a slow but gradual effort to clamber back onto the couch. Felix stood up to open the door, giving them a look to make sure they were ready.  
“Hey, I am back, sorry I took a while, managers held me up.”

“It’s okay hyung. Hyunjin-hyung is feeling a bit better.”  
Chan’s head popped through the doorway, a heat pack balanced in his hands “Hey Jinnie…” his voice softening as he noticed Hyunjin who was looking smaller than Chan thought he had ever seen them. Huddled helplessly and deliberately under the blankets to hide.  
He was aware of the redness in their eyes, and the undried tears of Felix’s shoulder, but understood, and let it slip without a single comment. Inwardly sighing at how he wished he could let his group have a break without the company bashing them.  
Chan wished nothing more than to coddle Hyunjin but the fearfulness in their eyes and the bone-crushing grip they held a couch cushion gave him a good indicator Hyunjin wanted not to dwell of previous twenty minutes.

 

“Hi hyung.” He said softly, reaching up to receive the heat pack as Chan came closer, their steps hushed by a sense of fragility around the boy.

Chan pulled up a stool to sit next to them waiting as the younger boy huddled the warm gift closer to his face.  
“You feel better now?”  
Hyunjin nodded, feeling self-conscious with his hyung and leader here, knowing they must be somewhat disappointed by the fact he couldn’t put his own wellbeing aside for just a few more hours- for the sake of fans, and face. (Which funnily enough, the thought of any of the mentioned hadn’t even had half a millisecond of time in Chan’s mind.)  
He fiddled with the hem of his shirt stuttering over his words, voice worn, “I-I am sorry for feeling sick hyung… I should have taken better care of myself.”

Chan chuckled, giving his hair a quick pat “Although I agree with the last part, there is nothing you can do against feeling sick. It’s okay Hyunjinnie, you did nothing wrong.”  
The other Australian nodded behind them, “Yeah, don’t worry about it Hyunjin-hyung.” A wide smile beaming off their face.

“Would you like us to get you some food for later?” Chan asked sweetly, tilting his head, blonde bangs swaying ever so slightly, “I will go shopping now, I don’t think its wise for us to return the meeting.”  
Hyunjin paused, not wanting to be more of a burden, but the beginnings of hunger gnawed at his empty stomach.  
Nodding slightly, the boy said softly “Yes, please… but not now, not hungry yet.” He could shove aside his hunger for later, thoughts of his current diet still weighed heavily on his mind.

“Okay, I’ll buy you something, anything you would like?”

Hyunjin thought, furrowing his brow slightly, before an idea sparked, turning his head excitedly over to Felix, “What was that food you said you liked back in Australia?”  
The other boy blinked in surprise “What? Cocopops?”

Chan snorted, firing in English “Oh my god your so predictable, of course, you liked coco pops - “Felix hit them on the shoulder, blushing furiously.

“No… it was something like porrann…porrajju?” Hyunjin tried his best to pronounce the strange word, his tongue rolling around its unfamiliar tone.

“Ah! Porridge.” Felix said in Korean and English, smiling at the cute pronunciation.

“You want porridge?” the leader asked, curious about the strange foreign food as a request, though not completely unheard of in Korea, it wasn’t an everyday meal that’s for sure.  
“Felix said it made him feel better when he was sick when he was in Australia…”

Chan threw his eyes over to the other Aussie, a smile brighter than the sun radiating off his face, joyful Hyunjin must have remembered his story from pre-debut days conversations.  
“Alright… I guess I can try to find it. You okay to wait till we get home?”

Hyunjin hummed in agreement, letting his head fall back on the arm of the couch, his eyes sparkling again, feeling a weight lifted off his chest to have a casual discussion of sorts with the other two Australians.  
After a while both Chan and Felix started talking in English again, heaven knows what they were talking about, not that he was listening. Occasionally Chan would make a dramatic gesture, waving his arms and making a sound effect of sorts, sending the other boy into a fit of giggles.  
Felix talked rapidly, his deep voice filling the room with enthusiasm and light-heartedness, Chan nodded along, agreeing here and there, or moving to explain in equally as fast fashion. 

It was nice hearing them speak, despite the words completely going over his head sometimes- lost in accent and slang both alike. But none the less, listening to it would always help calm him.

He lay back, letting his eyes close, focusing his ears instead of the chatting pair deep in conversation about something he didn’t care to attempt to comprehend, the comfort of their native tongue letting him drift into a hazy state of sleep.

 

 

A soft click woke him gently, the sound of a door being closed, the careful footfall of a familiar weight, one he had heard many times prancing around at late hours in the dorm.  
“Hyunjinnie?” they asked. “Can I fit?”  
Hyunjin cracked an eye to examine their expression, it was fixated on the spot next to him on the couch, barely enough space for two, it would be hard; but did he care in the name of cuddles? No. No, he did not.

He nodded, soon enough he felt a figure slide in under one of his arms, on instinct he wrapped his arms and legs tightly around them, and snuggled in close, smiling softly to himself as a familiar red blur of strawberry hair filled his vision.  
“Thanks, Lixie.” He said, humming with content as they finally got comfortable.  
“For what?”  
“For taking care of me even if I am your hyung…”

Felix laughed, so pure and so beautiful Hyunjin wanted to squeeze the life out of him but managed to contain himself by the time they began to answer “Of course, I will always take care of you Hyunjinnie, your so clingy and cute anyway, it’s impossible not to.” 

Hyunjin giggled, he knew how pushy he was with his affection, it was just how he got attention and did things after awhile the whole group grew used to it. He no longer found shame in liking cuddles and sleeping with the other members.  
“Anyway, you big baby, Chan is shopping for dinner and getting you porridge now, he will be back soon, for now, get some rest- okay?”

“Hmm, okay.” Hyunjin slurred sleepily, as he rested his cold nose on Felix’s collarbone, nuzzling it for warmth.  
Never had he been so relieved and relaxed in the presence of another human, so at ease and carefree. He breathed in deeply, taking in the aroma that hung around them, that smelt like only describable as faint honey or even citrus and tea leaves. Much better than the smell of disinfectant that lingered in the small room.  
He sunk into their arms like putty, sinking slowly deeper and deeper into a restful sleep, comforted by the occasional stroke down his back, or comforting foreign words that the younger boy spoke to him in tenderly.

 

The fan meeting had ended, and by the time they set foot backstage both Hyunjin and Felix were dead asleep.  
No one had the heart to disturb the two tired looking boys tightly curled up together in the small space provided by the leather couch. The members all getting their fair share of photos in, whispering in quiet tones.  
Though, worried as they were for Hyunjin after Chan’s incredibly vague explanation, they couldn’t let a cute moment as Felix and Hyunjin asleep cuddling go uncaptured.

All except one…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaa~~ Alas the chapter is brought to an end!  
> Also, I downloaded a grammar checker, and boy, it has been a huge huge help to me, and I'm glad I got it because it definitely helped with a few things I had missed <3
> 
> UPDATING SOON uwu


	4. The car ride, part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Car ride pt1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for updating kinda late, I was intending to post this sooner but I am currently juggling two fan fics whilst also trying to stay atop of my Korean studies and keep my art Instagram alive too! Wildin'~

“Hyunjin, Felix… time to wake up.” A gentle voice rolled through Hyunjin’s sweet dream, a hand patting his shoulder, ruining the illusion he had blissfully created. The tired boy blinked, eyes still sore from the tears shed earlier, redder and puffier than usual.  
Felix stirred in his arms, groaning in annoyance, clinging tighter as Hyunjin moved to sit up.  
“How long were we asleep?” Hyunjin mumbled, rubbing an eye to focus on the person who disturbed their peaceful sleep.

“Only a little while, maybe an hour at most.” the honey voice hummed, the boy’s eyes recognising the blurry figure to be Woojin, a wide smile painted across their face, a flower crown -probably from the fan sign- decorated his head, giving him An even softer look then what he thought possible.  
The oldest member frowned as Felix continued to grumble, refusing to let go of Hyunjin’s torso, instead, sitting in their lap and laying their head on his shoulder, the older not moving to refuse the action.  
“How long did you both sleep last night?” they asked quirking a brow. Usually, Felix was up and ready like a ball of pent up sunshine, but right now he barely stirred, head lolling helplessly against the elder’s chest with each subtitle movement,  
“About three hours,” Hyunjin stated, letting his eyes close again, running a hand down the Australian’s back slowly and with loving intent, not wanting to remove himself from their warm embrace. Both seemingly oblivious to Woojin’s distasteful look as Hyunjin forgot to add honorifics in his exhausted state.  
“Same…” Felix managed to whisper, probably only loud enough for Hyunjin to hear it.

“You need to take better care of yourself… anyway, we are going soon, get ready within twenty minutes, we are headed back home.”

The two lazily nodded in sync, the oldest member letting out a quiet laugh, “Don’t hold us up, or me and Chan won’t be happy.”

“Hmm. We won’t… we just need to wake up.” Felix said, turning to curl his forehead in Hyunjin’s neck to look at Woojin, eyes drooping with sleep.   
Woojin felt his heart clutch, Felix and Hyunjin was a force to be reckoned with, both dangerously cute when sleepy, always whining and pouting- bed hair a given.

He smiled again wide and bright, damn his soft heart, he couldn’t help it, “Alright, don’t be too late.”

 

Within those twenty minutes, Hyunjin and Felix eventually parted, getting changed and gathering their stuff from backstage, before headed to the manager driven vehicles to drive them back to the dorms.  
The pair, unfortunately, split up when being divided between the cars, giving each other a sad look before slowly getting into the corresponding vans. Hyunjin hating the idea of leaving his feeling of sanctuary in his mentally shattered state.

No one really knew why the two suddenly seemed closer, everyone recognised the looks they gave one another, Felix’s watchful eyes barely leaving his hyung for a second, occasionally the pair’s eyes caught in a long and silent battle. Not that anyone moved to ask, instead choosing to ignore it and just let it be. 

 

 

Changbin, Chan, Woojin, Jisung and Felix jumped into the first car, driving off before Hyunjin, Minho, Jeongin, and Seungmin in the other began to follow.

Hyunjin sat next to Jeongin at the back of the car, letting the youngest rest their head on his lap as they began to move. He accepted the affection carefully, knowing to get Jeongin to engage in physical affection like hugs, or simply close-proximity was rare.  
It took a little while but eventually, he opened up about not liking, or even tolerating it as much as other people would- it was just something that bothered him. Since then all the members had been careful and gentler about it, instead of taking it personally they knew now that Jeongin just had his limits, and no longer pushed him or annoyed him.

So Hyunjin smiled at the ceiling when they whined to have their hair stroked, his eyes were closed, originally with the intention of sleeping had cracked open to admire their coconut of untextured hair. Which really, was the cutest look on him; everyone could agree.

“Look who’s acting cute today.” He cooed, causing them to blush and wriggle, “Don’t make me sit back up…” they grumbled, though Jeongin’s voice held no real threat, the older boy laughed and let his hand rest in the other’s hair.  
They relaxed under the fingertips, sighing at the contact.  
“Can I ask what happened earlier Hyung…?” a voice asked, causing Hyunjin to glance up, noticing that Seungmin had been watching him intently.  
“Yeah, we were worried.” Minho piped up, brows furrowed with concern over the grey seat’s edge, dark eyes intelligently running over them.

“I just suddenly felt… really sick, I couldn’t stay awake either. Felix saw and helped me get backstage.” Hyunjin said with a half-hearted nod, keeping things simple, not wanting to be too specific about the fact he had a total breakdown backstage.

“And what’s up with you two? Why were you on the couch together?”

Hyunjin quirked a brow, turning back to Seungmin, “You saw that?” eyes flashing like a cat in the darkening van as they went through a tunnel, the roar the vehicle made as they passed through gave way to a long uncomfortable silence.

 

Seungmin blinked, gaping like a fish, the glaze sending him into a slight panic, not wanting to upset his hyung he took a desperate look towards Minho, who only shrugged unhelpfully. Tight-lipped he turned back to Hyunjin.  
Typical, Minho would only help Jisung.   
He looked back, “Uh… yeah…”

Hyunjin’s reaction slowly changed, teeth showing vibrantly, eyes crinkling at the corners delightfully, lighting up every inch of his features, everyone in the car practically blinded and confused by the sudden change in reaction.  
“Did you take pictures?” he asked, tilting his head slightly a tired tone still dragging in his words.

“I did,” Minho said slowly, slightly confused by the change of atmosphere. “Why?”  
“Send it to me.” Hyunjin said picking up his phone “I want it for something.”

“Please stop being so loud I am trying to sleep.” The maknae mumbled annoyed, honestly uncaring for the current conversation, or to let it continue; lest it disturbs his sleep.  
The rest of the drive was silent, the only sound breaking it was a notification from Hyunjin’s phone with an image attached.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed, it is fairly short, but its actually split in 2 chapters for the sake of suspense? Idk, easier disquisition of perspective switches I guess lol ;;
> 
> Please point out any flaws in my writing!!! I really appreciate it so I can fix it and make a more enjoyable well-written fic for you guys :((  
> (This includes tenses, and even words or sentences you think might fit better than the ones I used! I read every comment lovingly so please if you have suggestions, I will read them <333)


	5. The car ride, part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Car ride pt2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be spacing updates a little more, been majorly stressed to get these out.  
> I need more rest, (since the only time I can get around to writing is late at night), so I will be taking care of myself more~~
> 
> Sorry Y'all I will be trying my absolute best to push updates out <33

Felix sat in the front with both Chan and Changbin, still tired and letting his head droop every few seconds, only to jerk back awake when the car hit a bump in the road or suddenly stopped.  
Jisung was dead asleep beside Woojin, who was scrolling through his phone aimlessly. Changbin staring out the window, looking mildly interested in the passing buildings and shops. Meanwhile, Chan watched Felix intently.  
Chan laid a hand comfortingly across one of his knees, giving him a reassuring look. Felix practically melted, dropping his head onto the leader’s shoulder without warning.  
“You good, mate?” Chan asked in English, the accent causing a slight stir in the car’s silence, a few ears perking up in curiosity in the switch of language.  
“Tired...” Felix breathed, “Hyunjin nearly squeezed the life out of me, now I see why everyone tries to avoid sleeping with him…”

“Nobody says that he’s like a portable human cushion,” Chan says, by this time Woojin and Changbin, both with poor English had stopped trying to eavesdrop, and Jisung… well, he was snoring in his sleep, Woojin playfully managed to shove both their earphones up his nostrils. Cannot believe stays really think Woojin is the most mature of the group, if only they knew, thought Chan absently while looking back.  
“Really? Because I swear, I was going to turn into jelly if he could possibly have hugged me any tighter… but still, it was nice.” The last sentence lost in a mumble.

“What was that?”  
Felix was quick to reply “Ah… nothing.” Waving them away with a slight smile, then paused, furrowing his brows, considering his next few words carefully.  
“Hey, Chan… I am worried about hyu-“

“You mind talking in Korean? It’s annoying when we can’t hear what you say.” Changbin suddenly broke through the conversation, tapping his cheek with the hand he was leaning against, looking irritated. His sharp features defined by the dying light of sunrise and passing traffic lights.  
“Ah, sorry,” Felix whispered meekly, looking away from their intense gaze. The motion not going unnoticed by Chan’s watchful eye. “The conversation didn’t concern you Changbin-ah.” The leader said slightly with more bite than he intended, causing Woojin who had not been listening until now to look up.  
The eldest’s eyes darting from the rappers, sensing a tension.

Changbin sneered slightly, looking back out the window, continuing to tap on his cheek with annoyance. 

Felix cuddled closer to Chan, their eyes downcast. He wrapped an arm around their small shoulders, and removed his eyes away from the other rapper, pressing a comforting kiss to his dongsaeng’s crown of hair, breathing a soft breath through their red tinted curls.  
“Grumpy-bum,” Chan whispered to humour the situation, but no smile reflected off the other Australians face, eyes glazed with an unreadable expression as they nuzzled closer. The sound of the van driving over uneven tarmac filling any gaps where further conversation could be resumed.  
He gave them a quick squeeze, looking back out the car window as they drew closer to the location of their dorms.

 

-

 

The first van pulled up at a nearby street, dropping off Changbin, Jisung, Woojin, and Felix, all making a quick stretch of the limbs as Chan thanked the driver before they drove away.  
“The others should be here soon, we should wait till they do,” Woojin said, plopping himself down on a nearby bus stop bench.  
The others followed suit, moving to sit down next to them, Felix remained standing, keep an eye out for the other van, leaning back against the bus stop’s cover.

“God I’m tired,” Chan mumbled, landing next to Woojin with a clang as his butt hit the cold metal seat.  
“Did you not sleep well last night again?” Woojin asked, worried.  
They nodded in response, yawning loudly before rubbing a sleepy haze from his eyes with his fist.  
Woojin placed a hand comfortingly at the back of his neck, massaging it slightly, Chan going limp in their grip “When we get home lets all get some actual rest, I will even make you some tea.”  
“Can it be hot chocolate instead?” Chan mumbled, smiling faintly.  
“Sure,” He mused with a sickly-sweet voice, causing both Changbin and Jisung to cringe.

“What about me hyung? Can I get hot chocolate too?” Jisung said, cutting into the conversation with a pout, pointing at himself unashamedly.  
Woojin sneered, “Ask Minho, that man would run through fire if you asked him.”

"Well, he is an idiot hyung," Changbin said raising a brow. It was true, Minho was an idiot, but only for Jisung.

Jisung pouted more “But Hyungieee~” his puppy dog eyes sparkling, “Yours is better, Minho-hyung always burns things…”  
Woojin went to protest, but sadly the statement was true, the idea of letting Minho even near the kitchen was an awful horrible very bad no good idea. Unfortunately, that concept of ‘maybe next time it will be better’ had been tested one too many times for him to want to repeat.  
He sighed, letting his shoulders slump “Fine.”

“Yay!” the boy cheered raising a little-clenched fist dramatically, Changbin letting out a small laugh at the boy’s action.

“They are here.” Felix’s deep drawn out voice broke through the light conversation, their eyes fixed on the oncoming black van rolling down the road.  
Felix stepped forwards, waving down the van.

 

The vehicle came to a slow stop, the sound of loose tarmac filling their ears.

“Yay~” a head popped through the window, Seungmin. “Sorry we got stuck in a little bit of traffic, did you wait long?”  
“No, not long it’s fine, let’s get home,” Jisung said, holding a thumbs up.

The door slid open, and the other boys filed out of the van, already beginning to move down the street, following a familiar path home through the back-alleys.

Hyunjin spotted Felix and smiled, picking up his slow dawdle to catch up with the redhead.  
“Hey.” He said softly, smiling so his eyes crinkling at the corners as Felix turned to return the gesture, “Hey.” They repeated, looking up at him with tender eyes.  
“Are you still cold?” Felix asked looking at a new jacket Hyunjin must have gotten in the changing rooms.  
But Hyunjin still nodded, “A little…” he said slyly reaching out his hand to Felix’s small one, but not grabbing it, merely asking for permission.  
Maybe it was a habit they picked up after Chan had often used it with them to keep them together, without getting lost in crowds, but Hyunjin always felt like his hands were empty now.

Felix glanced down, and smiled, letting them wrap their large and cold fingers around his warm tiny ones, encasing them in a feeling of safety and security.  
“Your hands are so warm,” Hyunjin said with awe, lifting their interlocked hands up, examining them with shining eyes, a fog of hot breath whirling away in the wind as they gasped in fake shock.  
“And teeny-tiny.” They finished, making Felix blush at the mention of it, despite Hyunjin’s tone being endearing rather than teasing Felix had always felt rather self-conscious of his hands. Unlike Hyunjin or Jeongin, who both had long slender fingers, and defined tendons through their hands, his own were tiny in comparison and soft.  
Hyunjin let the joined hands drop, swinging them slightly with each step.  
Though both boys’ were tired, they felt a little spark of energy as they walked up the hill of the street, shoulders pressed close together for shelter from the occasional blusters of wind.  
No one paid Hyunjin and Felix much heed, talking among themselves if at all, desperate to get home away from it all and sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at these two cuties uwu
> 
> So I sort of imagine Hyunjin is a really open person about his feelings, so I'd imagine when he is interested in something he doesn't doubt himself or question it; he knows.  
> Felix, on the other hand, is a little shy, and slow going, slightly insecure about himself and his emotions- therefore you will see Hyunjin taking the lead in a lot of their interactions <3


	6. Heartbeat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group comes home at last.  
> Felix reflects on hours passed...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I am getting so many comments about if Felix is non-binary.  
> He is NOT non-binary, and I have worked a lot to reduce these occurrences to make it less noticeable, but it keeps happening, so I wanted to address it.  
> Please don't make comments about it anymore, I am working to change this habit- however, if you do want to alert me of misspells or odd out of place sentences please COPY AND PASTE it into a comment and explain. It's incredibly hard for me to find what you're talking about otherwise, and it would save me literal hours of searching <3
> 
> ALSO: Thank you so much for the support on this fic! It's overwhelming, I love you guys <333

The group arrived home just in time to see the first of the snow, the sight still fascinated Felix deeply, his eyes glued to the skies which was now streaming with the white snowflakes.  
Ever since the first snow he had seen in Korea he immediately knew- winter was his favourite, and eagerly awaited the next one.  
And alas, it had come, but this time with Stray Kids by his side, and him no longer being unsure whether or not he would stay with the group, no more was this the horror of the JYP survival show. This was a feeling of family and a time of happiness.  
Even Christmas was around the corner, the first one where he wouldn’t be flying back to Sydney to see his parents, but instead to spent in Korea with Stray Kids, and STAY, his other family. His new family.

Simply the remembrance of family made his heart ache, his missed his mother and father, despite the fact he and his parents had left on rocky terms, due to reasons he best not dwell on… He missed their voices, and the Christmas traditions he had with extended family as well, he missed the snails in the backyard of his house, and the local coffee shop down the road with the ladies in silly hats.  
He missed the incense his mother burned on summer to keep mosquitos away and rid the smell of burning chicken from the attempts of thanksgiving, almost every year she still managed to burn it…

Felix lingered at the front door much longer than anyone else dared to, the cold becoming overwhelming to them, and they moved inside without much kafuffle.  
His mind lost and wandering through old memories as he witnessed new ones being made,  
Eventually, a voice broke his daze, “Come inside Lixie, you’re going to get a cold.” Chan’s familiar English bringing him a sense of peace as he turned away from the skies and let himself be led inside gently, the door closing behind them both softly.  
“Come on, sit in front of the heater, I’ll get you a drink.”

Felix nodded placidly, walking over to the mini heater in the middle of the lounge of the dorm, surrounded by 7 members, exclusion being Woojin and Chan who was working in the kitchen.  
Chan refusing not to leave Woojin on his own, since nine drinks was too much for a single man to make within a reasonable amount of time. Despite his promise to sit down and relax, there was no arguing with Chan after he made up his mind.

Felix plopped himself down between Jisung and Jeongin, both of whom were seated directly in front of the blaring warmth, hands upheld to ease the freeze in their numb fingers.  
The group sat in a comfortable silence, Jisung eventually curled up into Felix’s lap shamelessly, while Jeongin lay on his back next to them and snoozed, letting his toes warm in place of his hands. Felix smiling at their coziness.  
Felix spent the time staring into the red glow of the heater’s coils, lost in thought of Hyunjin’s breakdown only a few hours prior, and how easily he seemed to have recovered and acted like nothing had happened. It irritated him slightly, more so made him worried, but both words complimented each other in this context.

After a while he noticed a pair of eyes had been watching him intently, his every move delicately tracked.  
He recognised the familiar feeling, those familiar eyes, and held in a chirp of laughter.  
“Sungie?” he asked the boy in his lap, who was almost asleep now, a thumb had absently found its way into his mouth, a habit he claimed he couldn’t break, and was at first embarrassed for, (later however he quickly realised no one minded, and instead called it cute.)  
“Hmm?”  
“I think Minho-hyung wants you?”  
“He do’wes?” Jisung’s speech slurred as he lifted his head off the Australian’s chest to blindly glance around, even if his eyes were closed.

They stroked the older boy’s back, “Yes, I think so, do you want to go to Minho instead?”  
Jisung nodded, rubbing his eyes as he unsteadily attempted to stand “Hyungie.” He mumbled arms outstretched towards the other boy.

Felix was about to move to help him, low and behold however his suspicions confirmed as barely a split-second later Minho had appeared by the boy’s side and was smuggling them away to the couch, sending a quick smile to Felix. It was honestly amazing the reflexes of that boy sometimes, I guess you develop it eventually after hanging out with the clumsy and rather uncoordinated Jisung for any extended period of time.

“Here you go.” A voice echoed, and a figure emerged from the kitchen, holding a tray of warm drinks, and a single bowl of porridge.  
Chan handed the drinks out one by one, all gratefully accepting them mouthing thanks. Giving Hyunjin a single bowl of porridge separately, instructing him strictly not to burn his tongue.  
The leader after handing the drinks and food to Hyunjin out, moved to the side of the room to settle in the only armchair they owned, sinking deep into it with a sigh, taking a sip of his drink. Groaning in pleasure as his feet finally lifted from the floor after a long day of consistently herding his pack of children around all day.

Woojin came in a few minutes later after cleaning the kitchen. A cup of his own clasped in his hands. Wordlessly he sat at the very base of Chan’s chair, the motion almost comforting to the leader, having a trustworthy person merely an armlength away let him relax.

The group was quiet and peaceful, the cold winter air kept at bay by the only heater in the house, each of them dreading to leave its side.  
Felix sighed, slumping his shoulders, as the thoughts of Hyunjin tumbled over him again like stormy ocean waves.  
He remembered how Hyunjin had sobbed, and how his usually tall and well-built frame had shrunk beneath Felix’s hands.  
How the silence had deafened his ears between each of Hyunjin’s laboured breaths, as they clung to him like a helpless child does its mother, his hands held tightly to the back of his button up for a sense of gravity.  
The memory of it burned vividly in his mind.

Slowly and discreetly he glanced over to them.  
Hyunjin was curled on the couch next to Changbin and Seungmin, his arms and legs wrapped tightly around a couch cushion, he seemed asleep, and relaxed, facial features highlighted in warm tones from the heater.  
He looked restful, though obviously exhausted- and with good reason.

Felix looked back down taking a thoughtful sip of his warm drink, wondering if he should push for answers for Hyunjin’s breakdown, or just leave it. Since he probably knew the answer; stress.  
The whole group collectively had their moments as well, of breaking down, sobbing, or simply dropping to the floor, it was a given with the amount of stress placed on them as idols even if the company was gentle on them, they weren’t as gentle to themselves.

A soft groan disturbed his thoughts, Jeongin besides him had stretched fully out before sitting up, yawning loud enough to alert everyone of their maknae.

“I am tired hyungs…” he mumbled rubbing his eye with a fist cutely.  
Jeongin seemed to regret the action when everyone immediately started cooing and teasing him fondly. He puffed his cheeks up with annoyance.  
“Baby needs sleep, alright that means everyone else too,” Woojin said slowly standing up from Chan’s feet. “Come on take your drinks we are all headed to bed.” With a quick finger motion everyone groaned, but in silent agreement, they began to move slowly.

Felix sighed lifting himself to stand, while the others followed suit, and went to put away their mugs back in the kitchen.  
The group split into inevitable pairs, Minho and Jisung taking no time to skip to one of the rooms, the two was practically inseparable, Felix had noticed for months how Jisung’s bed had not once been occupied, choosing instead to sleep with the older boy.  
Felix’s face fell grave, eyes following the sleepy pair disappear behind a door. He wasn’t particularly annoyed with them, but more with the fact, the two had something he didn’t.

Hyunjin who was still on the couch sat up, an overly large hoodie shadowing his face and thin figure “Can sleep? Give hug?” he mumbled a question to Felix in broken English gently, sounding rather fragile.  
They turned, looking in surprise, he was sure Hyunjin had left, but then again, they were so quiet sometimes it was hard to believe he was the same person who had a laugh of windchimes in a hurricane.  
“Okay baby, come here,” Felix said, the nickname for Hyunjin slipping his lips once more as he moved to help them up. It seemed any energy they had on their walk back home had dissipated.

Hyunjin wobbled along at a slow but reasonable pace to Felix’s shared room, which to both their surprise was only occupied by Woojin and Chan in one of the top bunks.  
Woojin only glanced up for a second, raising an eyebrow at the frozen pair in the doorway.  
He only raised a finger to his lips, indicating to stay quiet before letting his head fall back on the pillow next to the leaders. The rest of the room empty of all normal occupants, but you sure as hell didn't hear Hyunjin or Felix complaining.

Hyunjin and Felix glanced at one another but shrugged and turned to clamber up the bunk bed’s rail, sleeping with the other members was no big deal at this point. Plus, who were they to judge, they were doing that right now themselves... still though seeing Woojin and Chan together was a rare occurrence, and usually only meant Chan had a relapse with his insomnia. But both the boys shoved aside their curiosity for the morning, and slipped into tho the top bunk quietly.

As soon as Hyunjin’s head hit the pillow he let out a long sigh and waited for Felix to join him patiently, as they were preoccupied with moving a few toys and pillows to make it comfier.  
Watching their movements curiously with sleepy eyes.

The fascination Hyunjin had acquired to Felix hadn’t yet faded, as they moved jerkily around the small confines of the bed, a bundle of energy and nerves, their hair now flat without texture powder, yet still so lively in its own way.  
Their dark eyelashes folding over the freckle dusted cheeks, his own eyes capturing them so perfectly, better than any camera ever would even with such dim lighting, nothing could compare to how pretty they looked in real life.  
Eventually, Felix was satisfied with the almost pillow fort that surrounded them like a nest, laying down next to Hyunjin with a thump, spreading out slightly feeling the satin sheets under him whisper with the movement.  
Hyunjin let his arms slip around them, his nose falling into their hair, all he needed was an arm around them and he was okay.

Felix smiled and turned to curl into them, accepting his place as the little spoon and being fully engulfed by the even just the slight size difference, loving every second of feeling so tiny, for once.  
He let no second of consciousness slip without the appreciation for the closeness they had shared during the last few hours. He felt a lot closer to Hyunjin as a person. He had discovered new things about them within the last few speeding hours, maybe even more than he had with any of the other members within a month.

He discovered one of Hyunjin’s fears, he experienced their clingy nature that he hadn’t really before, he found that he could use the nickname ‘baby’ without them reacting. He is finding a side to Hyunjin he highly enjoyed, something he had craved and gone long without until now.  
Winter didn’t feel so cold with their lanky arms tightly wrapped around him, and their breath fanning through his hair, and with their hands rested absently on his back pulling him close into the depth of their chest.  
Tonight, wasn’t cold. Tonight was filled with the smell of Hyunjin’s faint vanilla from the soap they used. Tonight, felt restful and pleasant, as the sound of Hyunjin’s heart filled his ears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading another chapter of mine!!  
> The next few chapters are probably going to get pretty fucking angsty... but for now enjoy the fluff~~ 
> 
> Also please read my first note if you have time, because it talks about something important <3


	7. The crumb on your nose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morning hours with sleepy Felix and Hyunjin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I took a while to upload this, I have been procrastinating as I try to stay on top of my art as well (which I have been trying to get back into ㅠㅠ)  
> Anyway, it is here now, this chapter and the next chapter are both 'filler' fluff chapters before the storm... forgive me ;;

Hyunjin woke up early, his brows furrowed in confusion as he found himself unable to move.  
A heavy pressure lay across his chest, both arms sprawled over unfamiliar white sheets, the pillows around him soft and fleecy. A welcomed warmth covered him, protecting him from the winter morning’s chill.  
He glanced down at the weight and practically felt his insides melt.

Felix had fallen asleep atop of him, cheek pressed above his heart, lips pouted against his hoodie’s fabric, hair absolutely distorted in every direction, hands tucked tightly around his torso.  
The older let his head fall back on the pillows, grinning to himself, wishing he brought his phone to tease them when they woke up.

He lay there for a few minutes, letting himself doze happily, a hand rested comfortably over the other’s back.

Eventually, he felt them stir, as he slowly blinked his bleary eyes open.  
Felix yawned loudly, moving to sit up on Hyunjin’s abdomen, rubbing his eyes of sleep.  
“Morning Lix.” Hyunjin struggled to say, the burden on his chest becoming somewhat suffocating.

Felix looked down at him and grinned sleepily, eyes crinkling at the corners “Morning Jinnie.” 

The day started fairly slow since it seemed they had fallen asleep way before everyone else, so they had woken up at a decent time for once in their lives.  
Felix started by making them both a coffee, while Hyunjin made them toast, whilst taking a quick scroll through social media, and their daily schedule. Which was excitingly blank.  
He skipped over to Instagram, skimming over a few familiar fan-pages of Stray Kids, stopping to notice a photo of Felix from a few months back, when he had worn his pink sweater, that looked way too big on him. He smiled, inclined to like the post, but held back, knowing the backlash of using their official account to communicate with fans.

The toast popped up aggressively, causing Hyunjin to jump. He set down his phone and prepared the toast for both him and Felix.  
The coffee brewed shortly afterwards, and the two sat down to occupy the pine dining table, that seemed oddly empty with just them. But nice.

It was a comfortable and easy silence, broken only by the sound of porcelain hitting wood as a mug was set down after a long sip of coffee, or the crunch of toast, along with the ping pong game of crumbs that followed.  
The morning sun wasn’t something Hyunjin liked to enjoy, usually, mornings were rushed and busy, filled with screaming to hurry up after all nine of them forgot to put an alarm on. You’d think with nine of them it would be easier to put an alarm on, right? Tsk.  
After the toast was all but gone, and coffee levels began to run low, Hyunjin decided to break the silence “Any plans for today? Schedules are empty.”  
Felix glanced up, a crumb just on the end of his nose “Actually… I kind of wanted to go shopping for flowers today. Maybe some lunch at a place I saw a few weeks ago.”  
He quirked his brow at the Australians well thought out plans, “Flowers?”  
“Yeah, some lilies, my mum used to get them during Christmas time.” 

Hyunjin blinked, he nearly forgot- this would be Felix’s first Christmas without his family, and without going to Australia. He felt his stomach drop with guilt, it must be pretty hard on them right now and he didn’t even realise through his own problems.  
With a pout he reached out, brushing his fingertips softly over Felix's knuckles, “I forgot Lixie, it’s your first Christmas without your family- are you gonna be okay?” he wanted to be upfront with him, since being sneaky with words wasn’t exactly Hyunjin’s forte.  
Felix looked up, resting his cheek in his spare hand, watching absently as his hyung comfortingly trailed their thumb across his palm, “Yeah… I’ll be okay, it’s not exactly my parent’s I’ll miss- it’s the idea of them.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“Like the memories and stuff, and the traditions.”  
He hummed in response, “Your traditions around Christmas don’t have to end now that you’re in Korea, just bring them over here. Plus, we will make new stupid ones, just you watch- it will be like 'pin the tail on the Jisung' or something probably.”  
Felix smiled wistfully still looking withdrawn, “Yeah, your right.” He let his eyes drop back down to his empty coffee mug, his brown eyes reflecting the caffeine as they buzzed with dark thoughts.  
With a sigh, Hyunjin have a supportive squeeze to the boy's hand, "Of course I am, we are all right here if you ever need us, okay?" To which Felix responded to by nodding lamely, still looking rather fragile, on the verge of tears even. The dancer knew better than to pressure them further and allowed the silence to consume them once more. With hands still loosely connected to one another, he lifted his phone to surf back through what STAY’s had been recently talking about on social media.

-

A few minutes later, there was a shuffle of light footsteps, Hyunjin looked up to crane his neck to see who it was, curious who would be up so early.  
Jeongin had woken up, closely followed by Seungmin, who… looked quite pale, if words were to kindly put it.  
“Morning hyungs,” mumbled Jeongin, nearly passing the pair before making a double take “wait why are you two up so early- “  
“Meh,” Hyunjin replied lamely, shrugging, the suspicious maknae raising their brows in return.

Seungmin groaned, shoving them into the kitchen before they could further investigate, “Hungry~”  
Jeongin turned around irrigated, distracted with his hyung, “I am younger than you! Don’t force me to make you breakfast- you lazy bum!”

“Innie, be respectful, however, I do agree. Seungmin don’t make the baby cook.” Felix chipped in, barely sparing a glance up from his phone, busy sending a message.  
“But I have a headache… it hurts.”

The older pair in the room snapped their heads up, eyes worriedly scanning the boy, on closer inspection he did look rather sickly, dark bags running under his eyes heavily.  
Hyunjin sighed, standing up, regretfully letting Felix’s hand slip from his own, the empty feeling consuming it once more. “Seungminnie, you better not be lying to us.”

“I am not!” the boy pouted, sad that they didn’t believe him, while Jeongin snuck into the kitchen to make breakfast with Felix. “It hurts…” he whined rubbing a finger deep into his temple.  
“Okay, okay, let's get you some tablets,” Hyunjin said kindly with a smile, hoping this headache wouldn’t follow into the coming days when their schedule was full again for Seungmin’s sake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the positive comments I get on this fic, it means the world to me~~ ;;  
> Lately, I have been procrastinating a fair bit since I am trying to get back into art, and continue posting on my social media, but I promise I will NOT be dropping this fic >:(( And if I do Imma b so mad at myself because you guys are my entire motivation rn aaaaa, you bring me so much hope and joy, thank you for that.


	8. Chan and Woojin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Woojin takes care of Chan for the day, as his insomnia relapses.
> 
> And has an interesting conversation about a supposedly 'bad sleep' with Hyunjin the night earlier with Felix...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO!!  
> I am sorry for not updating sooner, its been hectic at the moment for me ;;  
> Me and my family are currently planning a vacation, or at least hoping too... my parents are not good terms right now so things might not work out like I'd hoped.  
> ANYWAY~~ When I get back, there is A CHANCE I WILL SEE STRAY KIDS LIVE IN AUSTRALIA!! :0  
> I am so HYPED, I can barely contain myself, I really really hope it's going to happen since I am still discussing it with my parents.  
> WISH ME LUCK YALL

Woojin sat up, he had been lying in bed for nearly an hour now, woken up by the sound of Hyunjin and Felix getting down from the top bunk. Normally he would’ve gotten up then and there, but the sleeping figure beside him had kept him anchored down.  
Chan was sleeping curled tightly up next to him, with the confines of the small top bunk of the bed there wasn’t much escaping their limbs that entangled with his own.

The leader hadn’t been able to sleep for the last few weeks and had been dragged unwillingly with Woojin to sleep. Woojin knew if he didn’t see Chan fall asleep, then he wouldn’t fall asleep. Period.  
He looked down at his leaders face, he looked incredibly fragile and soft. Chan pretended to be all this, and all that, he was the leader of the group after all… but in the end, he got just as tired as the rest of them, if not more so. The burden of being the leader only felt heavier as their new album drop edged closer each day, the pressure to keep the group together and working towards their goals terribly stressful. As he had to rally his physically and emotionally exhausted teammates each morning to work hard for their comeback.

 

Woojin sighed, stroking their shoulder to wake him up, “Hey, Channie. Time to get up now.”  
Chan mumbled, pouting as he was shaken from his slumber.  
“Woojin?” he said, blinking his heavy eyelids open to focus on the blurry shapes.

“Yes, it’s me. Come on I will make us breakfast.” The oldest smiled, brushing the blonde fluffy hair from Chan’s eyes.

 

With a bit of convincing the two finally made way to the kitchen, Chan shuffling his feet every step of the way, leaning of Woojin’s arm for support.  
The kitchen was rather quiet, filled with a slow murmur of conversation. Jeongin leaned on the counter, chatting tiredly to Felix, who was frying some eggs. While Hyunjin talked to Seungmin at the table, who was practically asleep, forehead resting against the edge of the table.  
Chan wasn't the only other non-morning person in this house it seemed. “Morning hyungs,” Felix said flipping an egg.  
“Morning Lixie,” Woojin replied as he sat Chan at the dining table, listening to the steady chatter and gentle noises of an unhurried morning routine. “Where're the others?”  
“Asleep probably, should I wake them up?” Hyunjin replied, patting Seungmin’s back comfortingly when they ceased back into silence.  
The eldest shook his head smiling, taking a seat next to the tired looking leader, “Leave them, it’s been a hard week they deserve the sleep, especially Jisung, he looked exhausted when we got home.”  
The dancer hummed, “Want breakfast? Lix is making eggs and tomatoes.”

Chan lifted his head “Yes please.”  
The eldest, however, made a dismissive motion, and with what Hyunjin slipped into the kitchen.

Curious, Woojin let his eyes watch the boy through the small space between the overpass in the kitchen. Hyunjin was unusually giddy for morning time, he hated mornings with a passion, preferring the afternoon.  
Hyunjin gave Chan’s order to Felix, the Australian smiled and prepared another set of eggs and tomatoes, handing the premade one to Jeongin.  
After the maknae had left and joined the table, Hyunjin rested his head on the younger boy’s shoulder watching them cook with wide eyes, occasionally helping Felix over his shoulder to flip the eggs and mind the stove.

Woojin cocked a brow, through the small space of the kitchen overpass he could see how Hyunjin pressed closely unto him, laxly resting their arms around the other boy’s waist when his help wasn’t needed. And the way Felix moved to accommodate for their clingy nature, smiling when the boy made a remark that was too low for Woojin to hear.

Hyunjin was known for being rather clingy, nothing was new, but Felix usually wasn’t his target, it was normally Jeongin. So, it seemed strange, to see the maknae at the table, undisturbed and happily eating away at the eggs and tomatoes on his plate ravenously. (A growing boy might Woojin add, needed his num-nums, a bit of animalistic behaviour over a plate of eggs was expected.)

“Woojinnie…” Chan groaned beside him, forcing him to tear his eyes away from the pair in the kitchen.  
“Yes?” he replied, looking over at the leader, who’s curly blond hair shadowed his sunken eyes.  
“Can I work today…?”  
“Definitely not, you little ass.” Woojin huffed slapping the back of their head ever so gently. “You're staying home with me and sleeping! I sacrificed my day just to make sure you get some rest, so that’s what you're going to do- understand?”

“Please hyung, I won’t overwork myself, there’s just this one thing- “but the oldest shushed him, “No. And that’s final.” Woojin said, his eyes hard, causing Chan to close his mouth and downcast his eyes dejectedly. 

Seungmin and Jeongin chuckled at the end of the table, “Dad is scolding dad again.” Jeongin whispered, eyes mischievous his plate completely clean of any remnants of breakfast.  
Before Chan could start verbally scolding the pair about calling him and Woojin ‘dad’ for the-a-millionth time, Felix had arrived with their breakfast. 

 

After some time, the Seungmin and Jeongin left. Apparently, Seungmin’s headache felt a little better but he thought it better to rest for the day and headed back to his room.  
Hyunjin and Felix, on the other hand, continued to sit next to one another, both on their phones, scrolling through messages, tweets, and comments on Instagram. Showing each other bits of media, they found amusing.  
Woojin found it interesting how some level of formality had dropped between them. How Hyunjin laid his hand on Felix’s arm to look over at his phone randomly when they burst into giggles- trying to understand the English joke on their screen. Which Felix carefully translated back to Hyunjin to understand.  
He felt Chan shift in the chair beside him, he looked back over to them. He looked fidgety and irritated, an empty plate sitting in front of him.  
Never a good sign. The man could rarely sit still for longer than five minutes if he wasn’t doing something.

“Hey… let’s watch a movie.” Woojin said suddenly, knowing he had to distract Chan from his own mind. “Come, let’s watch it on my laptop, okay?”  
Chan hummed and nodded, taking the eldest’s hand to be led back to Woojin’s dorm room- since Changbin was still somehow asleep… (was he dead? Out of sight out of mind, I guess… then again, he was always out of sight with that height, so I mean-)

“What are we going to watch?” the blonde asked, sitting down on Woojin’s bunk, crossing his legs, before a quick moment of terror crossing his face as he lunged forward to grab at Woojin's arm, “Not a horror movie though!” he yelped.  
Woojin chuckled, he loved horror movies but after traumatizing Chan with ‘The Train to Busan’ he never wanted them to go through something like that again. He had to sit with them for a full three hours, just stroking the boy’s hair to calm him down.  
Turned out Chan wasn’t able to stand horror’s very well…

“I won’t I won’t.” he waved them off, causing Chan to let out a relieved sigh. “What about… a movie called ‘Always’?”  
Chan blinked, “Uh… is it a horror?”  
“No Chan, it’s not a horror.”  
“Is it sad?”  
“Probably.”  
The boy whined, pulling his legs to his chest, “I don’t like sad movies either…”

“Heavens, you’re a big baby. What about an English TV show, I know Felix likes it?” Woojin asked, wondering if he was as bad at comforting Chan as it looked.  
But it seemed it worked, because Chan looked a little brighter, peering to view the laptop.  
“It’s a comedy, and it’s light.” He assured them, watching them with soft eyes, "Plus it's Felix who likes it, so I mean it can't be too dark... he watches fucking Pororo with Jisung, and cries."  
After a second or two of thought, the Australian nodded “O-okay.”

 

Haazaa, thought Woojin, opening Netflix to search the name of the show.  
“Brooklyn nine-nine.” He repeated the foreign words on the screen slowly and probably badly, but Chan seemed to understand and smiled, clapping his hands enthusiastically at the choice. Eyes absolutely full-blown with stars.  
Woojin sat back, opening his arms for Chan to snuggle in, and clicked play, the show starting off dramatically with gunfire and stupid jokes. Woojin resisted rolling his eyes back into his head- of course, this is the type of show Felix liked to watch.  
Subtitles badly translated for Woojin’s understanding, but it made Chan giggle and laugh, so he didn’t mind one bit…

 

\--------------

 

 

Within no time Chan was asleep after the third episode, curled up tightly into his hyung’s chest, mouth open, hair messy just like he had never woken up in the first place.  
Carefully and gently Woojin slid his hand out from under his head, smiling as he shut the lid to his laptop and quietly made his way down the ladder. He set the laptop on his desk, before heading out of the room for his own breakfast.  
He rounded the corner to the kitchen and saw Felix. The boy was leaned against the counter, a cup of coffee still steaming in clutched in his small hands, staring blankly the liquid, thoughts lost elsewhere.

“Hey, Lix.” Woojin greeted softly, disturbing the dancer from his thoughts.  
Felix jumped slightly surprised but smiled quickly and returned the greeting “Hello hyung.”

“Coffee, again? You sure that’s a good idea? You know how you bounce off the wall after caffeine.” Woojin said as he went to rummage through their cupboards for breakfast of some kind.  
He shrugged in return, taking a large swig before setting it down on the counter, not heeding the elder’s advice, “I just wanna feel a little bit awake. I’m sleepy still…”

At that the eldest perked up, remembering how last night Hyunjin had snuck into sleep together with Felix, “Hyunjin slept with you last night though right?” he asked head still deep in the cupboard, frowning when he found it empty besides a few literal crumbs.  
Since when did they not have food?

“Yeah, that’s why I couldn’t sleep.” 

“Did he snore?” Woojin asked, looking over at him.  
“No.”  
“Did he kick you?”  
“No.” Felix chuckled, eyes glimmering. “No. It was… ah, forget it. It’s stupid.”  
Woojin quirked a brow, smiling softly “No tell me, I am curious now.” He abandoned the searching of food, apparently, they needed to go shopping. Or should he say he needed to go shopping, since no one in this house did, lest they starve without him.  
No wonder the kids were always so damn hungry, there was no damn food.

The Australian groaned, putting his head in his hands, ears dusted a deep shade of pink “It was his freaking heartbeat, hyung… It was so loud.”  
The eldest smiled fondly at his blushing dongsaeng, admiring how cute Felix looked when flustered. Eventually, he couldn’t hold it, and let out a laugh, patting their soft hair, letting his hand run through it messily. “Goodness your so cute, Hyunjin’s heartbeat kept you awake?” he cooed, wondering why they were so embarrassed about something like this.  
“Yes.” They whined hiding their burning face even more.

“Was it beating fast or was it just loud?”

“I… I don’t know, I think it was just loud, but it was like… all I could hear. And he was so clingy.”  
“So, I am assuming you don’t want to sleep with Jinnie again?” he asked curiously, clicking his tongue.  
“No that’s exactly the problem hyung… it’s all I want to do...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOooOOooO~~ So this was a bit of a Woochan fix of mine, I am very tired when I wrote this, so I may come back and burn this chapter into cinders who knows lol?
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway, did you know this fanfic has a theme now? Well damn, it does!  
> If you want to listen to it here it is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTGiGXxc81o  
> It's super soft, pls listen to it anyway lol this isn't an option itS A REQUIREMENT LOL.  
> (CHAPTER GOT EDITED A LITTLE, hope this version is a bit better!! <3)


	9. The four laptops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jisung wants to watch a movie... but first snuggles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy moly :(( I didn't realise how long it took me to update, been busy with my art recently, by the way, if your curious I am https://www.instagram.com/bonessiniy/?hl=en on Instagram! Feel free to contact me there, I mainly post art there, but I also share updates on my writing goals (rarely) on there as well!

Two weeks had passed, and Christmas was fast approaching, Chan being the main hype-man for the event by purchasing the tiniest and shittiest Christmas tree he could find on Amazon, but it was cute, so no one cared. While Woojin and Hyunjin prepared food in advance, along with lights for the tree, and decorations for the dorm.  
Jisung, on the other hand, was stressed.

He had never really experienced a proper Christmas, his family wasn’t exactly the most festive, let alone family orientated.  
During this time of year, he was normally ignored, while his parents went on a vacation. He spent most his holidays with his grandparents that he loved very much, this year however he was with Stray Kids, his new family.  
Not just Chan and Changbin, but 7 others.

It was a strange thought.

Jisung had decided for the afternoon to snuggle under the blankets and watch movies for the day, takings absolute bliss in the free schedules lately.  
He pulled Chan’s laptop on his lap since they couldn’t all afford one, they shared about four between the nine of them- but everyone preferred the leader's laptop… it was free of porn ads…  
It was late afternoon, the sun hanging lazily in the sky outside the bedroom window, snow still heavily coating the buildings and windowsill in satin.  
The dorm was pretty empty for the day, Felix and Changbin had decided to go out to pick up some gifts. While Hyunjin, Woojin, and Seungmin had gone out to grab some gifts as well and pick up dinner for everyone else.  
It was just him, Chan, Minho, and Jeongin who had passed out in the lounge room after a long day at the studio practising for the next upcoming choreography. Even during their holidays, the group occasionally got itchy feet to get moving again.

“Hey,” a voice called just as Jisung was about to open Netflix. Apparently, someone had changed his profile picture to a chicken… probably Hyunjin- the little shit.  
He turned his head, seeing Minho stand in the doorframe, “Hey?” Jisung responded, noticing how his shoulders were hunched, eyes rather distant, “You okay?”  
The older boy shook his head, a few stray strands of black hair falling over his face.  
“What’s wrong?” Jisung asked, setting his computer aside, gesturing Minho to take its place.

Minho sat down on the edge of the bed with a heavy sigh, “I’m worried about… stuff.”  
He raised a brow, Minho worrying about things was pretty rare, even during the survival show and when he got eliminated, the boy had remained calm and rather stone-faced while everyone else pretty much broke down for their lost members.  
“What ‘stuff’ are you worried about?” He asked, patting his back kindly, watching his expression with trained precision. Knowing where to look to see the truth in the older boy’s face- it was his eyes. His eyes always told the full story.  
“I am worried I am not working hard enough for this comeback, Sungie…”  
Jisung wanted to burst out laughing at the fact Minho was having such distorted thoughts, but he knew that Minho was actually having genuine concerns, and it would be mean to laugh at his hyung so fruitlessly.   
“Hyung… You’re working so, so, so, hard for this comeback, believe me, you’re doing fine. I understand why you’re so worried though, me and 3RACHA also get worried a lot about not working hard enough; but I assure you, we all are doing fine. Yourself especially, your choreography is beautiful and your singing is perfect for this album.  
You have nothing to worry about, I promise you.”

Minho blinked at the rapper’s ramble, turning to look down at his feet cheeks dusted a faint pink, “You really think so?”   
“Yeah…” Jisung said, smiling brightly dramatically throwing his arms over his hyung’s shoulders, “Instead of focusing on this whole ‘not doing enough’ how about you help me choose a movie to watch? I’ve been here for twenty minutes and can’t find any good ones.” He said with a pout.  
Minho smiled widely, eyes twinkling with the suggestion “Okay.”

 

The pair settled down on Jisung’s bed, pulling the covers up over their legs to fight the evil nipping chill. As Minho scrolled through movies, and possible TV shows to watch, pausing to coo over his cute selection of kid’s TV shows in the ‘watch later’ section, which resulted in a 2-minute pillow fight.  
But eventually, they found a TV show that Minho thought was nice, claiming he only watched the first few episodes, called Strong Girl Bong-soon.  
Jisung sighed, letting his head fall onto the elder’s shoulder with a yawn as the intro started, suddenly sleepy after a pretty dreary day. Usually, he would be bouncing around or going on a walk, he was rarely able to sit still, but today he felt rather slow and dopey.  
He felt content next to Minho, his calm aura affecting him.

He felt comfortable next to his hyung as well, and before even the halfway mark nearly asleep with his head in Minho’s lap, lulled but the feeling of the occasional stroke through his soft blonde hair.  
“You’re unusually quiet today…” Minho remarked, fiddling with a strand of his hair, almost reading Jisung’s thoughts.  
“Yeah…” he yawned again helplessly, letting his head sink back down onto his thigh, “I think I could get used to this.”

Minho let out a cute giggle, the reaction in Jisung’s heart something like Felix’s text messages, that often read something like: ‘SBksksksksHBSUIAHaaaaaa.’ 

(Bless the Australians weird texting methods to allow him an accurate description of this emotion.)

“Fair. So could I. You excited for Christmas?”  
“Not as much as I thought I’d be, I never really had that great of experiences with it.” He hummed honestly, he didn’t have much fear sharing anything personal Minho, they pretty much knew everything about one another anyway. Like how Minho once got his d- okay yeah maybe not that story… 

“Oh?” Minho said looking down at the squirrel boy with his cheek rested on his leg, “I am sorry to hear that.”  
Jisung nodded, “Never been a big fan of it, if I were honest.”  
“Well, I hope you enjoy even just a little bit this year, I will try make it memorable for you.” The older boy said, tapping his nose, and scrunching his eyes cutely.

Eventually, Jisung sat in Minho’s lap to continue watching the show with him, but it didn’t last long, because another episode later his head was deeply nestled into his neck, shamelessly squeezing him tightly. Enjoying it when Minho lazily traced his spine under his shirt.  
Before long Jisung was dead asleep, happily curled into his lap, nuzzling at the soft beautiful tan skin occasionally when the stroking and petting stopped when he drifted back into consciousness.

 

-

 

Minho decided it was time to get up an hour later, as much as he wanted to snuggle with Jisung longer, he thought better of it, reluctantly letting him go and tucking him under the sheets and doona.   
He picked up Chan’s laptop careful not to disturb the sleeping boy, and tip-toed out the door, giving one quick last glance to them with a smile, choosing to leave the door open; knowing how Jisung often woke up in the middle of the night to find someone aimlessly whilst sleepwalking. Not liking to be alone for too long.

More times than Jisung would admit he had gone to Minho’s bed for cuddles whilst sleepwalking, but it never bothered Minho once. Of course, the boy was an absolute flustered mess in the morning, stuttering over his words while skittering back to his own bedroom.

“Ah, Minho, you have my computer, I was looking for it- you’re not using it right?” Chan said, suddenly materialising before Minho’s eyes from the corridor.  
“Oh hyung, it’s you. No sorry, me and Jisung were just watching a show with it.” He said, handing the computer over, “What do you need with it?”  
Chan laughed “Jeongin wants to watch a movie too… and well you know why we can’t use the other ones.”  
Minho blinked looking at his feet, embarrassed.  
Chan was talking about the porn ads on his computer, again wasn’t he?

“It said free games, hyung.”  
“Oh Minho, darling, you know they are scams right?”  
“I do now…”  
Chan cackled as Minho’s face grew ten thousand shades brighter, clapping him on his shoulder, “Come on my little dumbass, let's go watch Frozen or something with the baby on the NON-porn infested computer.”  
“Let’s…” he replied with little enthusiasm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Waaahhh~~ Thank you so much for reading, this chapter (and the next one) is sort of a filler, I just wanted some more fluff~  
> I will be headed overseas to Bali in two days! I am taking my laptop and my drawing tablet so I can work there as well, but I might not do as much work as expected... I might just be having to much fun lol.
> 
> Then when I get back, a week later I will be heading down to a Stray Kids concert!! omg ;;; so hyped.


	10. 10:00PM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group prepares for Christmas in a weeks time, and decides on a movie for the night... then Hyunjin's phone rings...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well shit. I am back from my trip in Bali, and it was absolutely beautiful ;;  
> Really glad I went~  
> Also sorry I never found time to update while i was overseas!! This was a sort of last minute thing, and I hope it's okay its nearly been a month since I uploaded and I am SO SORRY <33  
> Next chapter... is gonna be... well you will see I won't spoil.

Woojin huffed, handing a bag to Seungmin to hold while he unlocked the door. Hyunjin already had his hands full with snacks and bags of food for dinner, looking like his own lanky legs were about to collapse underneath him due to the weight.  
Finally, with a bit of effort and anger, the door decided unjam and graciously invite them in once Woojin kicked it open.  
“We are home!” screeched Seungmin, causing Hyunjin next to him to flinch.

“Welcome back!” Chan called back, looking bright and rested, a miracle thought Woojin absently.  
“Hey,” Woojin said abruptly, wanting nothing more than to fall asleep after a long tiring day of running around to find food and gifts, taking calls from relatives and trying to steer Seungmin and Hyunjin away from expensive things, he was exhausted. He dumped the bags on the kitchen floor, already heading to the couch to lie down, knowing the others would unpack the bags within the given time.

He flopped down on the couch next to Jeongin, who greeted him with a wide smile, his braces flashing through his lips. Oh, how Woojin would mourn the date they got taken off, which every day was creeping closer and closer.  
He sighed, relishing in the comfort of not having to hold heavy bags, to finally rest his aching back again. He sat there for a bit, the dorm buzzing around him with life, Jeongin eventually got up to turn on the TV for a movie, the Hyunjin and Seungmin making quick work of putting away the groceries. Eventually, things quieted, and he heard footsteps approach, glancing up from the corner of his eye he smiled, Chan.  
“You good?” the boy asked, coming to sit on the edge of the couch next to him, noticing how tired he must have looked.  
“Yeah, I am just tired of running around with the kids all day… I feel like an old man, I need naps now,” he mumbled, letting his eyes close.  
“Aish, well maybe don’t take a nap here, it’s probably not the best place, we are going to watch a movie of Jeongin’s choice.”  
“If we have to watch another David Attenborough which I can’t understand a word of- I will literally scream,” Woojin whined, knowing how much Jeongin loves documentaries after Chan introduced him to it. Unknowing of how obsessed the maknae would become of it.  
Turned out Jeongin really loved fishes… and sharks.  
Woojin really had enough seeing things being eaten.

Chan chuckled, patting the eldest’s chest with a dimpled smile.  
“Hey, Channie?” Woojin hummed through barely open eyes, “Can you lie here with me for a bit?”  
Chan blinked.  
“Ye-yeah sure.” The boy stuttered nervously, obviously enough for Woojin to raise an eyebrow, but said nothing when Woojin threw his arms around his chest, pulling him close. The eldest giving an experimental squeeze around their torso till Chan wheezed out a small sound for mercy.  
Woojin let a yawn fall from his lips, letting his head fall into Chan’s back, forehead rested of the hot skin of his exposed blushing neck. 

“What are we watching?” Hyunjin asked, appearing from the kitchen with Seungmin in stride, looking bright-eyed and cheerful as they promptly ignored both their oldest members to join Jeongin.  
“Did one of you change my account to the kid’s channel- cuz it’s not funny anymore” the maknae whined when the two others joined him.  
Hyunjin laughed, “Not me, let's be real it's probably Felix..”  
Seungmin snickered “So- what are we watching?”  
Jeongin’s eyes sparkled, “Ah! Goblin!” looking proud of himself as he gestured towards the screen that showed the first episode of the Korean favourite TV show Goblin.  
Woojin sighed in relief at the choice, at least he didn’t have to read subtitles for once- curse Felix and Chan with their western shows.

Hyunjin clapped “Ooooh! I love Goblin! Felix said he hadn’t watched it yet, right? Can we wait till Lix gets home?” looking incredibly soft as his eyes crinkled into whiskers.  
Jeongin nodded in agreement "We can watch something else till he gets back," excited to show Felix one of his favourite shows, “Where’s Hannie hyung?”  
“Alseep...ish.” A voice recognizable as Minho’s drew out.

Minho was wobbling his way to the other boy’s, as a tired and dishevelled looking squirrel following in his stead, a hand tightly wrung onto the older boy’s sleeve for support.  
“You guys are so noisy,” Minho said looking coldly at the group not even looking the slighted bit surprised when Jisung moved to sit in his lap, legs wrapping immediately around his waist and arms over his shoulders- just to fall back asleep.  
“Not noisy enough to wake Han-ah fully…” Seungmin hissed between his teeth comically.  
“I’m awake Seungmin.” Jisung slurred, looking at the second youngest with a deadly gaze.

 

“Hey guys, I am back.” a voice called out suddenly over their heads, along with with the jingle of keys, and the swoosh of a closing door.  
Chan glanced up first to see who it was, to his surprise it was Changbin “Oh, Binnie. Your early, where’s Lix?”

Changbin shrugged, setting down his backpack by the kitchen doorframe, pulling out a stack of papers, “Felix apparently ran into some family while we were out, he said I should keep going on without him since I needed to pick up a few things from the office before it closed for the holidays. He will be back soon.”

“Family? Really? That’s odd, I don’t remember hearing Lix talking about family coming back.” Chan said with a little worry.  
“Yeah, I was a little surprised too… I didn’t think Felix talked much with his family.”

“ _How_ long will he be gone?” Woojin said, sitting up and releasing Chan from his grip.

“Dunno, he didn’t say.” Changbin said flopping down on the floor with the others in front of the laptop, “We could probably watch a movie before he gets back though.”

“O.K, but not Goblin!” the maknae said pouting wanting to watch it with his Australian hyung “What about… _W two worlds apart?_ ”  
“Sure.” The Woojin said, not caring the movie choice at this point.  
He yawned again, giving a side eye to Chan, who was instructing everyone to sit down and get some popcorn, taking control of the situation naturally. He casually threw an arm around the leader’s broad shoulders, patting his collarbone to almost hush him  
Chan quivered at the touch and quieted quickly. The kids threw an appreciative glance to the oldest member when he caused an end to Chan yabbering, as they made their escape to the kitchen to make popcorn and prepare snacks.

“Channie, let the kids be, just relax.” Woojin let his other hand land on Chan’s waist, knowing if he let Chan continue to boss everyone around, he would grow stressed. Being the leader was great until it becomes your life, and not your job and Chan, unfortunately, couldn’t see the difference between the two sometimes.  
Suddenly a thought came to him, with a grin he called for Minho “Minho, hey come sit up here with Sungie, it more comfortable.”

Minho looked up, somewhat surprised by the offer, “There’s not enough room hyung.”  
“Chan can sit on my lap it's fine.”

Chan immediately stiffened looking frozen in terror.  
“Didn’t you say you were tired?” Chan whispered as Minho helped Jisung up and flopped down dramatically on the other end of the couch, snuggling into one another.  
“I mean yeah, but hey, who says I can't sleep with you on my lap?”  
“I do?”  
“Well, you're cancelled.”  
“W-what, why?”  
“My dongsaeng... are you really so eager to avoid my affections?” Woojin chipped in playfully, eyes twinkling in mischief.  
The leader huffed, and pouted, accepting his fate within the small living room, and awkwardly moving to sit on his hyung’s lap, with a fair bit of wriggling around and adjusting eventually he managed to find a comfortable spot on one of Woojin’s thighs.  
Woojin chuckled at Chan’s fidgety nature, and wrapped his arms around him loosely, for the safety of those around them, trying to restrict the surprising range Chan’s legs had. Or worse; kick the maknae which was now innocently sitting below them on the floor starting up the movie. Chan was never able to sit still for along, always having to move and wriggle, but he didn't want to let them go this time, he was content with holding the Australian in his arms tightly.  
With a fair bit of shuffling and fighting over popcorn, somebody finally picked the movie and started it up, the sound of loud obnoxious guns and dramatic cheesy romance lines quickly filling their ears.

Turned out Chan was more tired than Woojin, because merely twenty minutes into the movie, he was fast asleep and curled into his hyung’s lap like a cat, head nestled deeply into the crook of his neck. The cuddled turning into the cuddler.

Meanwhile, besides them both, Jisung continued to snore the whole way through utterly unaware.  
It was all rather peaceful...

 

**Until the clock hit exactly 10:00PM.  
When Hyunjin’s phone rang.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who called Hyunjin's phone I wonder?  
> And why?


	11. >IMPORTANT NOTICE by creator<

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NOT AN UPDATE!  
> (Will delete this later once I resume this fic again.)
> 
> Also really sorry I left this fic on a huge cliffhanger oh my god ;-;

#### Hello everyone,

> This is an apology for the lack of updates...
> 
> Recently I have been incredibly busy with my life and have found it hard to update this fic _(or any of my others for that matter.)_  
>  BUT! I do not plan to drop this fic or any of my others, I promise you production is blazing away in the background and soon I will have plenty of content for you all! I will be resuming more frequent updates as soon as I can. 
> 
> Thank you for always supporting my works, and giving me love, everything you guys do and comment means so so so much to me, writing these fics for you guys really gives me a light to my life.

**Yours sincerely- Hyunjjins.**

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed the first chapter, its fairly teeny weeny, next chapter will be longer I promise <3


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